I really dislike bringing up the fact that I have lupus because 1) it’s not the most important fact about me; 2) it’s boring to keep mentioning my own chronic illness; 3) it’s not that big a deal. I just know that one day if I get on American Ninja Warrior, though, I’ll have to call myself the Lupus Ninja. <eye roll> Lupus is my human interest adversity story they’ll want to use.Read More
The hospital called the afternoon before to give us our arrival time: 6am. Good. First surgery of the day, no anxious waiting around, no time for anxiety bowels. My parents came over at 5:30, my dad to stay until the big boys woke up, my mom to ride with us to the hospital.
And little Harry, absolutely no clue what he was about to experience.Read More
Yesterday Noah and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary in a very 14th wedding anniversary way:
We had dinner at the restaurant where we had our first date (as we've done every year)
One of us counted Weight Watchers points for the meal
Afterward we went to Barnes & Noble and got a coffee and some books
We picked up our three children from their grandparents' house by 7:30
When we last left off, I was on an oxytocin drip and having contractions. Still, after a few hours, I hadn't progressed much beyond where I was to begin with. I wasn't surprised, because with both Ethan and Oliver, the labor was slow until the breaking of the bag of waters.
I had to wait for my doctor until almost 4:30 to break my water, because he was delivering some other lady's baby. Ugh, people, amiright?Read More
I've got a thing with pregnancies. I make great babies, but it takes a toll.
We stayed on top of monitoring all the possible conditions, which did absolutely nothing to prevent the onslaught of those conditions. Only this time I also had been diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder prior to pregnancy, so they'd be watching the baby extra closely as well. Knowledge is power! I mean, terror!Read More
We went back to the beach, and it was wonderful. We went to the aquarium, and it was great fun. We faffed about, drove into Oriental a few more times. I'm actually going to do a Travel, In Brief post about Oriental, but I will say that for having been there for only two weeks, I started to feel like a local.Read More
Over the weekend, my parents came out to River Camp. My 91-year-old grandmother lives with them, as well as a dog who suffers from mental illness—sociopathy, I think. I convinced them to put the dog in a kennel for the weekend, and my brother and sister-in-law stayed at the house with Nanny.
While my friend Lisa bikes the entire East Coast Greenway, our family has sacrificially signed up for a two-week stint of doggy sitting at Lisa’s river house. Our turn came up for River Camp on Saturday. We've been here for six days so far, and it's been glorious. Mostly.
Let’s just say I’ve had an issue with a kayak.Read More
Lately, the weeks have been flying by (cliche), but the speedy passage of time has just further added to the minor funk I've been in. Ethan is finishing 4th grade, Oliver is prepping for kindergarten, Harry is sleeping in his own room, the whales are dying because of plastic. Also I have wolf-face disease. Anyway, life is fleeting. (<—name that quote! It’s an obscure one…)Read More
Almost ten years ago, I attended a reading by David Sedaris. Some unlucky circumstances led me to leave after several hours, before my turn to meet him and get an autograph. Last night, Noah surprised me by taking me to a reading for David’s new book, Calypso. I finally got the autograph and, incidentally, David sort of called me a hooker. Don’t worry, it wasn’t mean or #metoo. For one thing, he’s gay, so I’m certain he wouldn’t have been interested in my services anyway.
You’ll just have to read on for the explanation.Read More
More often than not lately, parenting has felt like a delightful surprise. It's not always, of course. Sometimes it's like having an upset feral cat around while I'm trying to do...well, anything. Anything is difficult when you're responsible for an upset feral cat.
When so many good days line up with very few blips, it's easy to remember what makes parenting the best, most challenging yet rewarding responsibility I've ever chosen. It’s also impossible not to think about the time I was a foster parent, about our foster baby, and what might have been.Read More
A few months ago—in fact, the day after I gave birth to my third son, Harry—I got an email from a nationally important organization inquiring about my freelance writing services. Which was exciting! So I wrote back honestly, saying that yeah I was interested but also I was still currently having my uterus pressed by nurses, so it might be a couple weeks before I could get to emailing them some writing samples.
The interview went well, then I fumbled the return, if you will. And thus came the thoughts and feelings.Read More
I spent some time listening to Ethan this evening. When I first started writing on a blog, Ethan was only months old. He's almost 9 now. As he talked, I sat and studied his little face. Suddenly I was transported. When he eventually got up to get in the bath, I immediately wrote these reflections. This is unedited and not overthought, which makes for a nice change, amiright?Read More
We had a foster baby for a week. I want to talk about it, but I'm not ready. And the election? I don't want to talk about it. But we all have to.
Why we're saying or not saying things is important to understand before we start flapping our gums or zipping our lips.Read More
After several profound disappointments, I've been throwing myself into the Small Things: painting with Oliver, noticing the tiniest parts of nature, plating my food attractively. (Thanks in part to a book I read a long time ago, French Women Don't Get Fat, which taught me that since I can't help being American slob, I should at least approach meals like sacred moments rather than the slop trough.) These and more nuggets of wisdom in today's post!Read More
If you're not sure whether you suffer from control delusions, start a garden. Farm animals? They're right out. Attempting to get involved with the life cycle whether plant or animal will quickly teach you a key truth: you are virtually powerless. Your hand in the process is merely tinkering at best, or interference at worst.
But thanks to my garden and my animals, I've learned how to live with failure—even the life-and-death kind.
Carrying a pregnancy and giving birth is incredible, a personally rare experience that intimately connects you to the mysterious cycle of life. If you can and want to, I say give it a try. But it's not what makes a family. Everything afterward is.
But why foster-to-adopt?Read More