On May 5, not long after 7 in the evening, my Nanny died.Read More
My Nanny has dementia. The recent confirmation, paired with an event that landed her in the hospital, has our family in one of life’s inevitable, difficult transition periods.
Three weeks after she turned 93, my last baby turned 1. Time has become an unavoidable specter in daily life.Read More
The hospital called the afternoon before to give us our arrival time: 6am. Good. First surgery of the day, no anxious waiting around, no time for anxiety bowels. My parents came over at 5:30, my dad to stay until the big boys woke up, my mom to ride with us to the hospital.
And little Harry, absolutely no clue what he was about to experience.Read More
Yesterday Noah and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary in a very 14th wedding anniversary way:
We had dinner at the restaurant where we had our first date (as we've done every year)
One of us counted Weight Watchers points for the meal
Afterward we went to Barnes & Noble and got a coffee and some books
We picked up our three children from their grandparents' house by 7:30
When we last left off, I was on an oxytocin drip and having contractions. Still, after a few hours, I hadn't progressed much beyond where I was to begin with. I wasn't surprised, because with both Ethan and Oliver, the labor was slow until the breaking of the bag of waters.
I had to wait for my doctor until almost 4:30 to break my water, because he was delivering some other lady's baby. Ugh, people, amiright?Read More
I've got a thing with pregnancies. I make great babies, but it takes a toll.
We stayed on top of monitoring all the possible conditions, which did absolutely nothing to prevent the onslaught of those conditions. Only this time I also had been diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder prior to pregnancy, so they'd be watching the baby extra closely as well. Knowledge is power! I mean, terror!Read More
Over the weekend, my parents came out to River Camp. My 91-year-old grandmother lives with them, as well as a dog who suffers from mental illness—sociopathy, I think. I convinced them to put the dog in a kennel for the weekend, and my brother and sister-in-law stayed at the house with Nanny.
While my friend Lisa bikes the entire East Coast Greenway, our family has sacrificially signed up for a two-week stint of doggy sitting at Lisa’s river house. Our turn came up for River Camp on Saturday. We've been here for six days so far, and it's been glorious. Mostly.
Let’s just say I’ve had an issue with a kayak.Read More
More often than not lately, parenting has felt like a delightful surprise. It's not always, of course. Sometimes it's like having an upset feral cat around while I'm trying to do...well, anything. Anything is difficult when you're responsible for an upset feral cat.
When so many good days line up with very few blips, it's easy to remember what makes parenting the best, most challenging yet rewarding responsibility I've ever chosen. It’s also impossible not to think about the time I was a foster parent, about our foster baby, and what might have been.Read More
A few months ago—in fact, the day after I gave birth to my third son, Harry—I got an email from a nationally important organization inquiring about my freelance writing services. Which was exciting! So I wrote back honestly, saying that yeah I was interested but also I was still currently having my uterus pressed by nurses, so it might be a couple weeks before I could get to emailing them some writing samples.
The interview went well, then I fumbled the return, if you will. And thus came the thoughts and feelings.Read More
I spent some time listening to Ethan this evening. When I first started writing on a blog, Ethan was only months old. He's almost 9 now. As he talked, I sat and studied his little face. Suddenly I was transported. When he eventually got up to get in the bath, I immediately wrote these reflections. This is unedited and not overthought, which makes for a nice change, amiright?Read More
After several profound disappointments, I've been throwing myself into the Small Things: painting with Oliver, noticing the tiniest parts of nature, plating my food attractively. (Thanks in part to a book I read a long time ago, French Women Don't Get Fat, which taught me that since I can't help being American slob, I should at least approach meals like sacred moments rather than the slop trough.) These and more nuggets of wisdom in today's post!Read More
Carrying a pregnancy and giving birth is incredible, a personally rare experience that intimately connects you to the mysterious cycle of life. If you can and want to, I say give it a try. But it's not what makes a family. Everything afterward is.
But why foster-to-adopt?Read More
On our way home after the reception, I felt crummy. Minutes after walking through the door, I was hit with chills and a high fever. I had an infection that I'm convinced took hold after the release of stress and tension culminating at the memorial service.
Since then, I do think of Debbie often, but not in the all-consuming way of those first few months. It's actually been six months today.Read More